For the last 5 years I constantly contemplated if nursing
was the right choice for my future… Would I enjoy it? Did I make a difference?
Could I really have a positive impact on someone else’s life?
For those of you who don’t know I am a Registered Nurse in
Aberdeen, Scotland and I graduated from The Robert Gordon University in 2012.
Throughout the 3 years of training I suffered from really low confidence and never
felt like I was part of any team. Why I lacked in confidence so badly is a
completely different story that maybe I will share with you another day.
The fight I put up to just complete the course is one that I
will never for the rest of my life, hopefully ever come across again. The tears
after every shift… the stress I put myself through… the constant worry that I
couldn’t produce an outstanding essay on time and just the general flurry and
worry that I was going to be in charge of running wards or in my case Carehomes
freaked me out.
Why did I bother finishing the course I hear you ask? Well I
am the type of person who finds sitting behind a desk for 8 hours a day quite
tedious and the constant need to chatter and be running around on my feet… Well
that didn’t fit in with a desk job either. My auntie worked in the Maternity
hospital here in Aberdeen and suggested the nursing profession. Not for even a
nanosecond did I ever think I would get into the course… low and behold… I was
accepted! This was an achievement in itself!
I love working with people and making them feel better and
through working in Carehomes the general feel is that yeh… you get attached to
people. Dishing out medication, changing wound dressings and giving injections
really are only a tiny part of the job. I spend lots of time in the day chit
chatting and listening to life stories that only people from a different
generation could tell. The war stories are my favourite… but what I have
realised over the last year is that I have an impact on peoples lives, no
matter how small it may be I realised that I do actually make a difference.
Over the last year I have realised some of the most
important things are right in front of you, you just need to dig a little
deeper. For the longest time I let myself be manipulated and talked to like I
was shit; from friends to co – workers and so on and so on. I have now come out
the other side feeling like the heaviest weight has been lifted off my
shoulders. And now things seem to be a little clearer. Its like the fog has
lifted and the answer was there the entire time. The place where I really can
make a difference and have a positive impact not only on other people but on
myself as well has been right in front of me the whole time. Nursing.
I am looking forward to this new job. The future seems to be
a little lighter when you just let the bad shit go. So here’s to the future –
where you all make that little bit of a difference.
Love Rach xx